Murdoch Lamarche

I tried
I tried to
I tried to eat a sandwich today
but i got nauseated
and sweaty
and dizzy
and generally disgusted by the texture of all foods
i gave it to a dog instead
he liked it
he ate all of it
But he dropped a piece of bread on the sidewalk
and stared at me,
wanting more,
ignoring the bread he had
im convinced all dogs are each an extension of someone on earth’s soul

summer preparations

call N Mortali-T
shoud neVer B hookd ²a nail
re-moVed ²allow maXimum fall
barn storm = purple
mAke sur you chAnj the tipz
numbher and rE-tayn
misting markket ani mulls durring lo-ding
rred suramik bUddhazz bro kken hand
C-man tempERturr shEEt
KoraheXidYLYne
flI/mAngo
scalp L blAds and sirr n jex
Proper Funktion
overrYde sisstums.synergize
garbage bagz: wyte
garbage bagz: blak
prompt a 10 tion ² remedying NE issues
will help ²N sur that a loss duss not hap N
@ your facili T

Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of ‘2AM Interview: Buttercup and LK’

Beach Sloth gave me a mega-boost last time I was in Brooklyn. I was trapped between humanity and ghost-y-ness, the only solution being a cigarette, and the sloth came through. I don’t even think Beach Sloth smokes, but he’s always carries cigarettes around with him in the event that some supervillain in an altered state requires one. He’s a good guy. And these were good cigarettes. We’re not talking about Mavericks. Beach Sloth had Parliaments on tap. Beach Sloth keeps it classy. [Overpriced = Classy] Thank You Beach Sloth

George W. Bush II is causing a lot of people stress these days. Not me. He might be an asshole, but I’ve gotta give his lineage credit. The Bushes are rolling deep in some old school villainy, and if Dick “The Machine” Cheney doesn’t have a lair on a volcanic island, I don’t understand the world any more. Beach is right, I will provide everyone with a Buick Le Sabre once I take over. The Le Sabres will be white and come with a free pair of fuzzy dice and personalized airbrushed license plate. [I know a guy that works at a carnival]

[Okay, not so much ‘works’ as ‘hangs out behind the Ferris wheel taking grainy, candid pictures of grown men holding funnel cakes.’ But that’s his calling, who am I to argue with that? I was called to supervillainy. Regardless of his fondness for man-on-funnel cake action, guy can get me the hook up on airbrushing]

Little Danson Man. Ted ‘Bridge’ Danson III. I didn’t make that up. Ted Danson’s middle name really is ‘Bridge’. Or maybe that’s his underground streetfighting name. The Bridge is bringing the beatdown. I pledge that once I’m supreme overlord, I will bring ‘Bored to Death’ back. Not just in 8 episode season. The new, revamped ‘Bored to Death will broadcast new episodes every weekday, all year long. Soap opera style. You might worry that daily ‘Bored to Death’ episodes will make the show get a little stale. Well shut up, I’ve got the finer points of this plan worked out. It will be ‘fresh to death.’

LK Shaw, our landlady at the Shabby Doll house, released a new little ebook ‘Measure my waist with a Measuring Tape in a car park on a hot day (and I will try not to write a poem about it)’. I really loved this book. You should soak it in. Like an anthropomorphic sponge hungry for quirky poetry ebooks by Canadians with English accents. That’s an oddly specific need, and it doesn’t get addressed much, but LK is here to fix it, you lovely little sponge-people.

Buttercup is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met via internet. He’s found the secret to being nice. Don’t Give A Fuck. He’s turned that secret into an entire philosophy, DGAFISM. It might sound too elaborate to even begin to understand, but Buttercup has a nifty little guidebook to help you on your journey to end all of your fuck giving. I heard he’s branching out to selling the book and information packet [a $600 value] for $19.95 through 4AM infomercials on basic cable. But you’re ahead of the curb, you can get this book [a $600 value] for free thanks to the magical goodwill of Buttercup.
           
Beach Sloth submitted something to my unholy baby, MΣΔ✞ CΘNFΣ✞✞I. I had this baby with 2 other bizarro freeks. I can’t give too much away, but Beach Sloth’s submission might have just gone and changed the game up. You could be a part of this. Send something to us. We want your [anything you made]. And, yes, it will be stomach-turningly weird. Beach Sloth and I can promise you that.

[And, Beach Sloth, your bling is straight off-season, bruuuh]

i amn on facebok on acif

Reasons not give someone on too much acid a computer.

Also evidence that facebook’s color scheme uses too much blue.

i amn on facebok on acif [1]

i amn on facebok on acif [2]

i amn on facebok on acif [3]

i amn on facebok on acif [3]

what is that soung abot blue caledl

hol,yhu jesuys

i am undrattak by bglue

is this liuevb

i thnk this song is about thisa

who inveted blue

who decided to make everything blure

i want to hewr more songd about blue but i can find yuotub

i kedp tpying it buy it dornt work

yuotubne.com

youtube.com

it doesnt workj

there is to mucvh godamn blue

everything is blue

i am beign asulted by ti

i amn on facebok on acif [2]

i amn on facebok on acif

i well andfrew any quedstion

lsdq5a

how to i type thew aqnbd sym bol

q&Ua

i fouhnjd it