Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of My Coverage of Beach Sloth’s Coverage of ‘2AM Interview: Buttercup and LK’
Attention Australian: Beach Sloth now owns your country. Australia is the world’s leading exporter of terrifying animals that want to kill you. As a supervillain, obviously, I approve of Australia’s endeavor to become the world’s #1 Most Metal Continent, but I’m letting Beach Sloth have it. Australian zoology guides are actually just rebranded D&D monster manuals. Unfortunately for the insane people that willingly live there, I will be taking all of your terrorbeasts. I don’t want any of them endangering The Sloth. He’s slow. I don’t want any of your six-headed knife-breathing chipmunks catching him. [The six-headed knife-breathing chipmunk is a real thing, right? Wikipedia says so.]
I feel a deep compulsion to help dead computers. Computers don’t judge. I just googled ‘why does this cough drop taste like a dead hobo soaked in lemon Pine Sol?’ and the computer I’m using didn’t say a word in protest. [I’m coming down with something. I don’t want to be an alarmist or anything, but it’s probably sloth flu. I’m a walking/floating pandemic.] Beach Sloth has a grudge against smartphones. I can understand where he’s coming from. My ‘smart’phone has crashed numerous times when I needed it. [to listen to bubblegum dance-pop] Dead smartphones definitely don’t belong in the Horsehead Nebula. My first thought is the Crab Nebula. It doesn’t look like a crab. Smartphones aren’t actually smart. But I’m open to suggestions.
The 80’s happened. Everyone agrees. Most alt litters weren’t around for the 80’s, and if they were alive, they probably weren’t aware of it. But that’s ok. ‘Miami’ Beach Sloth was there. He experienced the 80’s hard enough for everyone. Baltimore may be America’s most indifferent city, but Miami is the America’s most 80’s city. That’s an empirical fact. I did the research so you didn’t have to.
Beach Sloth and I, we get it. We ‘get’ music. I’m a supervillain that occasionally vacations as a ghost. He’s an internet sloth that blogs about music. If any two people are in a position to say something about music, it’s us. Our official opinion on music? It’s pretty cool. If I’m ever blogging, unseen, from inside your house, obey the sloth and put on some ‘chill tunes.’ If you hear three moans followed by two knocks, put on something more upbeat and weird. Maybe some Tipper or Opiou. Your house will get really weird, really fast, and I may even teach you how to ghost.
Stephen Michael McDowell dropped ‘I Liked a Lot of Music in 2009 but Apparently Didn’t Like Myself’ the other day. I opened it last night expecting the typical 10-30 pages, but, no. Stephen doesn’t believe in the typical. It’s 89 pages. It’s even more hefty than Meat Confetti VOL 1 and it was written by one [wonderful] person. I’ve only read a bit of it so far, but I can assure you that at one point Stephen proudly exclaims ‘IT’S FUCKING SHARK WEEK’ with no context. Does a statement like that need context? Hell no. Do you need to check this out? Hell yes. As for LK, she’s finishing up the cabinets in the new Shabby Doll House. I hate waiting for new installments, but I know this one will be great. I think Beach Sloth has another piece in it. He’s an SDH darling.
I have some IRL friends in Baltimore. I may go visit them soon. If I’m up there I may show up behind some Baltimoreans with little to no notice. So for the foreseeable future, everyone one in Baltimore should be on Murdoch watch. It won’t work. No one knows what I look like. But maybe it will calm the people [and rats] of the city. Be warned, Baltimore, you’re about to meet your supervillainy quota for the year.
Beach Sloth boo666ted the Cosmic Parade. Meat Confetti is accepting for an issue of just criticism [We really want you to be critical of something and send it to us.] And last time I checked, I’m still charming.